I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
