He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
