The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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