I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
