You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
