i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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