He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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