Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
