Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
