id be glad to
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
