Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize