the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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