try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I am one with the molecules
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
