i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
