It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
