everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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