This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
