You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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