I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
