Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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