Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
