Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
