Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize