What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize