I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
