Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
