There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize