That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
this will be a night to untag.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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