Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
