I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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