another moral hangover. fuck.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
