worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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