i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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