we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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