Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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