Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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