Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
