I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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