I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
