Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we made out on top of his cat.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
