i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
