oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize