Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
