Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
