She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize