You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
