Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
