i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
