I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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