He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I deserve this hangover.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
