We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
