I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
not ubering you a puppy
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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