It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize