Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drake has all the answers
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
