Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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