I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Couch. On fire.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
